Internal Dialogue

I hurt my knee in May.

You see we have these wonderful friends in Florida who brought 25 (or so) of their friends to Nashville at the end of April for the Country Music Marathon & 1/2 Marathon. They were a joy to be around and they inspired me to FINALLY get my butt in gear and fully prepare for the 2008 marathon.

I started training - HARD! A little too hard - with the type of intensity I used to have in trying to get my hands on a Krispy Kreme doughnut (yummmmm). I was STUPID. I hurt my knee. Genius.

Ended up being a "slightly torn" meniscus. Had to lay off it for a couple months along with some physical therapy. It SUCKED!

I've now been cleared for modified 1/2 marathon training. This means the dr. was trying to tell me not to be stupid and overdue it again. I've been good. I can't run every day, but I can throw a little running in with each workout.

This is where the internal dialogue comes into play. I have to talk myself out of breaking into a slight jog. "A little bit of running won't hurt me. I'll just do it for a few minutes. I know I did it yesterday, but I feel pretty good and I think my knee can take it." And that is when I have to have a serious argument in my head to control my running urges. Usually, the part of my brain that is telling me to NOT run wins out and I hope I can keep listening to it, but the better I feel, the harder it is to pay attention to that nagging little voice.

Plus, the people passing me on the street are starting to stare at me talking to myself. Hmmm...maybe these conversations "in my head" are actually happening out loud.

Eat, Pray, Love changed my life.

Subtitle: I feel the need to clarify that this was pre-Oprah's embracing of it. Is that sad? (that I need to clarify--not that the Big O embraced it) Probably.

Since this is a blog post and not a book report (or a dissertation. that's how much I loved it) I wont go into book specifics except to say that you must read it.

skim it.

buy and keep on your bedside table until you (if youre anything like me) have a bout of insomnia and find yourself with a couple of free hours.

Since this is a blog post that's supposed to be about FITNESS that's the part Ill yammer at you about.

The "pray" part. The SPIRITUAL fitness part.

What so resonated with me about Eliz. Gilbert's writing is that it wasnt denominational but simply served as a reminder that the answers we all seek are waiting within us.

When we find/steal a moment to be still & fully present with ourselves (which I find to be *such* a challenge. Chickenbus, trying to work and be a mom I find it a challenge sometimes to be fully present with my Toddler Tornado!) that's when our questions & struggles begin to be answered.

(lost yet? In typing this out I almost get muddled myself)

Gilbert, though her fabulous and humorous writing style, reminded me that it is possible to find balance and calmness in my hectic world simply through silence.

Again as I type this I begin to wonder if that is what led me to ponder running in the first place.

Meditation need not be in an ashram in India or a special room in a yoga studio as Im quite certain the women I see running in Austin are experiencing that "meditative state" with every step.


what about you?
is running your meditation time?
Id love to know as I start down my new path of spiritual fitness.


(oh, and if youve read the book, I ADORE that she had bestowed upon her such a cool nickname as GROCERIES. I want a fun nickname like that. can it be called a nickname if I bestow it upon myself?)

I promise getting better with computers is on my to-do list...

for now the link below will look ugly---but work just fine!


It's really pretty simple: email a duck. raise a buck.

All the money generated is donated to breast cancer research.


Have fun, get creative, send to friends & raise some cash.


http://www.munchkin.com/projectpink/email_a_duck.php

Thursday's run

I usally do not run on Thursdays. It is a BodyPump day, but I missed yesterday and was anxious for a run. I talked my husband into planning to be home till 0830 so that I could run for an hour. My baby kept waking up from 5am on, but I still got out the door at 0740. It is a beautiful day-- Fort Knox, Kentucky- a place I never would have chosen, but God put me here for a reason. I start out my normal route headed to the front entrance with railroad tracks and a road to keep me on the straight and narrow. It is my normal 4.5 mile run and my body kicked into a familiar pace. I try to pray on these runs for my family and did a little bit. On the way back I noticed up armored Humvees headed my way. I was in the Army from 1990-1996 and this is a training post that does not send large units off to war. I looked up at these soldiers manning machine guns on the top and fully realized we are in the midst of a long drawn out war. Please no politics here-- I have never been for invading Iraq, but am sure our soldiers are doing their best and need our full support. I guess I just felt really sad knowing that we're no longer playing cold war games or playing war games in the desert. These soldiers really need these heavy weapons on their vehicles. The Army I was in just seemed safer than this though we did invade Panama and fight Desert Storm while I was in. Is it because I'm a Mom now and my children may follow their parents to the military? Last year we had Thanksgiving Dinner in the mess hall with a bunch of new enlistees going through Basic Training. They were carrying their weapons with them inside and everywhere. That is also new to me. We always left them in the Arms room or one soldier would guard them outside while everyone ate. On Monday morning there were hundreds of these basic trainees running down my street (their Commander lives on my street). It was loud, they were yelling and happy, they were a unit. I looked out my window and could see the stragglers being helped along the end of the formation run. Running really builds stamina, esprit de corps, and whether they were ever runners before, they are now. We were assigned to the U.S. Military Academy (West Point) for 5 years and the cadets always ran by our house. They seemed so young and carefree. I'm going to add soldiers to my morning prayer time on a run or not.

thank god for my running buddy

if it wasn't for our 6am runs, I would probably sleep in. We say this to each other about every other time we meet to run. Both of us are moms, AM has three and I have 1....we both work so it is the dedication of each other that keeps us going. We actually made time to train for a local sprint triathlon this summer and compete in it. having access to this FREE site seemommyrun, is awesome! Because in the hustle and bustle of life, running can be alot easier, and fun with a buddy or buddies!!!
This is my first blog...I look forward to gabbing about the UPS and DOWNS of life, and running...literally!
as dorie from finding nemo might say " just keep running, just keep running, just keep running"!:)

chickenbus.

As all moms I finally decided that it was time to lose my swear words. My daughter is a late talker (she's practically an ASL interpreter with all the signing she does but that's an 'UhOh should I have done all those signs with her? will she be speaking by the time she goes to prom?" for another day) so thus far she isnt mimicking. But it's coming. And my dear sweet husband does not swear.

So the day the Toddler Tornado drops an f-bomb we'll all know from whence it came.

moi.

Hence the CHICKENBUS.


Todays chickenbus is brought to you by the fact Im really truly a newbie runner.
As in I dont. Yet.
Im a bodybuilder (natural. small. I often get "oh you must be a runner!" when people meet me.) and I love the endorphin rush I get from lifting & I love being strong.

and I love looking strong (*wink*)

However I am going to get into running.

They (the big they. in my first career I owned a personal training studio. so the THEY I was compelled to listen to) say that it's important to change up your cardio every few months.

Ive been doing the recumbent bike for 6 years.

Now you know why Im here.

can you say external accountability?

Brain vs. Legs: Game On!

Since yesterday was Wednesday, it was my "oh goodie! I get to run so I think I'll go out way to hard and to fast because I'm so happy to be running" day. As a result, my legs were very anti-run this morning. My brain, on the other hand, was all for it. And so the inner dialogue began. There is something about that first 1/4 mile or so when my legs are just screaming at me. The argument goes something like this: Legs - "What are you doing! Why did we leave that perfectly good hazelnut coffee and the couch? We were happy there! And there was a great article in the Style section just begging to be read!" Brain: "Zip it and keep moving. We are running today and you will like it!" And so it goes. On days like this, I like to trick my legs into going further. I play the 'just one more tree' game, as in "OK legs, see that tree up there? I bet you can't make it to that tree." and my legs, being the stubborn things that they are say "Oh yeah? Watch me!" and then just like that, I make it to the tree. I do this for as long as it takes. One tree at a time. Mile after mile. Today this game was very much in effect and I am happy to say that the brain was way ahead of the legs. Around mile 3, I see this woman walking with her dog coming toward me on the path. She is grinning ear to ear. As I get closer, I realize why this woman is so dang happy. She is walking with a venti frappuccino!!! A venti!!! At that moment, my legs and my brain both nearly came to a screeching halt. Legs: "Did you see that? Starbucks is closer than home! That could be our next tree!" Brain: "Hmmm...you make a good argument." But somehow, I managed to plow through and turned left instead of right which took me closer to home and further from the Starbucks. Game back on. I am happy to say that I added 1.5 miles to my run from yesterday and everyone is happy. My brain gets to brag and my legs got a banana and vanilla yogurt smoothie as a much better substitute for that 500 calorie frappuccino (yes, 500. I looked it up as soon as I got home).

Imposter

This too is my first Blog and after reading the others, I feel like a bit of an imposter. I've been with seemommyrun for more than two years and go nearly religiously....let's face it, it is cheaper than therapy and more sociably acceptable than a straight jacket. I was a walker through pregnacy and breastfeeding until I found "The Oprah Bra" to support my DD lactating boobs ( OK.....they were probably larger than DD, but I still squeezed those puppies into those bras because I didn't want to know what the next size was!!!) The thing is, with me, it is more more like.....see mommy pant, see mommy turn beet red, see mommy walk up the hills, see mommy sweat like a prostitute in church, and see mommy in last place AGAIN!! I am a Navy gal ( just reserves now) so have had to run for more than 20 years. During most of those years I belonged to the 3 mile club......that is 3 miles a year ( our tests our bi-annually at 1.5 miles each time). I admittedly don't LOVE to run but I do love this group, I do love the way I feel when I finish and I do love the Starbucks stop with my "real" runner friends. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. Soooo next time you see a group of ladies running, wave to the the one bringing up the rear to encourage me......I mean her!

Motivation

My biggest challenge is motivation. This morning I woke up and my first thought was, 'Ugh! Today's a running day!' (I alternate weight training with running) Running days mean suiting up and getting out there and noting each muscle that is not performing up to optimal levels. (Upper inner thighs--hate it!)
But I did it and I do it because I want my kids to see me doing it...I want them to know that Mama's a badass. I want my daughter to aim for my standards and I want my son to look for my qualities in a partner.
And now, of course, I have this blog as a motivator. I feel connected now, not like it's me against the world anymore.
So, Run, Sisters, Run!

Confessions

1. I am not a fast runner (I’m 5’1” and all my height is in my torso – scary!).
2. I am trying to lose these final pregnancy pounds. (Ok – my twin girls are almost 5 – I don’t think I’m technically allowed to call them pregnancy pounds anymore – but just try and stop me!)
3. This is my first post on this fantastic site and I am thrilled to be a part of it.

I started running in high school. My dad was the track coach & football coach so I felt I needed to participate in one of those sports (don’t even get me started on the trauma I will tell Oprah ALL about regarding going to the same high school where my father taught and coached – HA!). Since my high school was completely against females playing football (they were just scared of our abilities – I’m sure of it), track was my choice. I was never very good – admittedly. I was too short and not fast at all, but I knew I would finish. I just told Coach to be sure they never started a new race without me coming in (I ran the 800m and the mile occasionally). I think I was only on the track team for one season and switched over to a sport that was a little more up my alley – cheerleading – but I have never lost my love of running. See I am a people person – the shining example of the word “extrovert”, but there is something about the solitude & serenity of running that appeals to me. And that is why I continue to do it. Just remember – don’t start another race without me finishing.

I'm in a Rush to Pace Myself

I am relatively new to running. I joined a boot camp with some friends back in April and as it turns out, that was the only kick in the rear I needed to get me moving. I was always an athletic kid. I played soccer for as long as I can remember, ran short distance track and could play football with the boys even when the ball had to be fetched out of the prickle bushes. I was a full on tomboy. I'm sure that is why I was blessed with two boys. Fate was kind to me and knew if I had a girly girl, I wouldn't have a clue what to do! After both of my pregnancies, I walked like mad and used exercise dvd's to get back into shape. I always thought that I'd like to try running but then the excuses would quickly follow. Things like "No way! You'll never go further than a block!" and "Don't do it! Think of your knees!" Eventually, I settled into a life of non-activity. That is, no activity unless it involved chasing after two kids, cleaning the bathrooms and doing massive amounts of laundry. Then last April happened. Boot camp happened. On the first day of the boot camp, our trainer had us run from the parking lot to a community center that was approximately 1/4 mile down the road. I got there but was panting so hard that I could hardly hear my friend say "what the heck are we doing here!?" At that moment, something clicked....or I freaked, whichever you prefer...and I decided that was it. I was going to do this running thing and I was never going to pant like that again! Needless to say, there was a lot of panting after that but I've stuck with it and have found something I truly love. I started out too hard and suffered a sprained ankle and achillies tendonitis in both ankles that had my butt on the couch and my feet elevated for over a month. But I got back out there and eventually got two 5k's and a 4-mile race under my belt. There is an 8k around the corner that I am hoping to complete as well. Running does something incredible for me. It magically erases any stresses of the day. It makes me feel like I can do anything and I truly believe that it makes me a better mommy. I love when my preschooler says, with a big smile, "so mommy, are you going to go for a little run today?" He knows what it does for me.

So what's the problem? The problem is time. Which I'm sure is the same problem that so many of you have. My youngest son goes to preschool on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday mornings. On those mornings, and typically one morning on the weekend, I get a quick run in. I drop him off, race home and get out there as quick as I can before I have to jump in the shower just in time to go pick him up again. All three days I do this and then nothing. Nothing other than strength training and dvd's until the next Wednesday. When that next Wednesday finally comes, I'm so excited to get out there that I run way too fast and typically burn out by mile 3.5. Every Wednesday is like starting from scratch. By the weekend run, I'm up to a comfortable 5.5 miles but I would really like to go further. So what is the secret? I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that have been where I am now and have found a way through it and increased your mileage so I'd love to hear your tips! Until then, I'm off to put my running shoes by the door so I can get out there again tomorrow.

I never quit before

Now that I have my first ever blog out of the way I can talk about running or I guess in this case not running the Marine Corps Marathon. This is the 3d time I've made the cut and had to back out. The first time I backed out I was pregnant. The second time I backed out I had gotten into the NY City Marathon and lived in NY so I ran that one. This time I have no excuse and it feels awful. I ran NY 9 months after my 3d child was born. I breastfed at the family reception area after a very long marathon (had to keep drinking at every station to make breast milk). I thought wow what a great way to get back in shape. None of my friends told me I was nuts so I thought it had to be ok. Soooo,, 4th child born last December and I signed up to run the Marine Corps. I pulled out Hal Higdon and started training, then stopped, then started and got up to a 12 mile long run before realizing I am out of my mind. I have two kids on select soccer teams, a busy 4 year old and an infant who really does not ask for much except to be fed and held, but I was jumping my mileage without putting the weekly runs in. My knees hurt. I've never ever had a running injury. I'm too slow for that. I weigh too much for this and I've got to call it quits. My friends and family could care less. I'm the only one crying for a lost marathon. I should go ahead and run a half marathon as I'm trained for that. Lost causes. I did love the two hours to myself for the weekly long runs. My husband will always help me run. I feel pressured to have a plan. What will I write in our Christmas letter?

This is a testblog...

although with my luck it will actually WORK and my blogmommyblog career shall be launched with a fizzle.

If, however, the blog-G-ds smile benevolently upon me then I shall be back.

Soon.

At some point here after I bathe my toddler tornado, motivate to shower, shave my legs and actually GO OUT (sans husband) and pretend Im a grown-up again.


For a few hours anyway...

How I Got Here

The local news had run a feature inviting girls from the area to submit applications as to why their mother should be Mom of the Year and, initially, I was very excited. Until, that is, I actually tried to think of reasons why my mother should be Mom of the Year.
In my eyes, a child's eyes, there was no doubt that she was Mom of the Year, but in society's eyes, well, I had to admit, she didn't have much to offer. The truth of it was, and is, that single mom's of three children whose kids go to school hungry and wearing the same clothes as they had worn the day before, aren't exactly Mom's of the Year. That mom's like mine, who opted out of meet the teacher night and who never baked cookies or accompanied the class on a field trip weren't the sort of mom's who earned honors.
The realization brought with it quite a bit of shame--shame for myself and shame for my mother. At that moment I knew that I wanted to be Mom of the Year. That when my time came, my child(ren) would have a Mom of the Year.
And here I am now! I won't lie. It's been a bumpy ride. Like water following a groove, I have been tempted by mediocrity and I've had to teach myself and learn by default many things that I think other kids were taught--I don't know. But I've also taught myself and learned by default many things that other kids weren't taught for the simple reason that they had a Mom of the Year and I'm pretty sure that's what the whole trip has been about.

Put on your running shoes, clothes....

Good Morning,

This is my first ever blog and I'm as nervous as a new bride. Ok, I was never nervous getting married, but it makes me laugh to write that. I'm Trice. I'm 43, and have 4 children. I have been in the Army and they make you run. Now I run because I love to run and it makes me a nicer person. My whole family knows that Mommy is so much nicer when she comes back from a run even if I was running in the rain, even if cars tried to run me over, even if it was only 30 minutes or 2 hours. They have also figured out that I'm a little less nice if I took a child in the running stroller and had to share the run. I've been the owner of at 7 running strollers over the past 12 years of Motherhood. I've run with two children in the heat of Texas in the double when my husband could not pinch hit. I've run in Germany in 1996 with one of the first Baby Joggers on a Volksmarch (10K) and had Germans chasing me down trying to buy my stroller. Now who would give up a stroller in the middle of a run? I've run on Normandy Beach commemorating D Day with both babies in a double. I'll keep this short today, but love to talk about running. I joined this blog to give my neighbors a break. They are tired of talking to me as I come in from a run and want to talk about running. My neighbor is running the Army Ten Miler this weekend. I signed up for it in 2001 and it was canceled after 9-11. I flew to DC and ran 10 miles by myself. I still have to get there for that race.